My partner and I went through something similar (though different) to you this week. Our experienced was more protracted, but still one that has brought about change and even more grace into our lives. He had become increasingly out of breath with the simplest of exercise and a cough had developed over time. Some tests were done, none of which seemed to provide any reasonable answers. Over a week ago now, his doctor suspected emphysema which is terminal within a few years (he has never smoked, though was a passionate cyclist, exposed to carbon monoxide over many years of road cycling). The doctor also suggested it could possibly be something more "sinister". A chest xray was booked.
The time between getting a referral, getting the test done and awaiting the results were torture, to say the least. During this time, I often thought of you because you had taken your readers on a journey that led in the same direction as my partner was experiencing. Sadness stalked my sleep and I tip toed throughout the days, trying to stay positive for my partner, whilst feeling gutted about the possibility of losing him. Yesterday we waited all day for a phone call from his doctor, who rang late in the afternoon. My stomach was in knots when the doctor started exchanging pleasantries. I was thinking the worst. Then he said: " the chest xray is completely normal. We can probably start to look at late onset asthma or perhaps a food allergy". The feeling of euphoria was instant. We have made decisions about our life that we probably would have dragged out. I am always grateful to our amazing universe for giving us the nudge to move along and do the things that we should be doing for a fun and beautiful life. I was elated that you received the all-clear, too. I loved the synchronicity of it all. But I'm used to synchronicities in my life and continue to be grateful for the lessons and messages that I am blessed to receive from our universe.
Something 'more sinister' than a thing that is terminal in a few years?! Bloody hell. That IS scary.
And wow: "We have made decisions about our life that we probably would have dragged out" - that's a magical outcome from a shitty experience. Hi-fives to the both of you too! And thanks for sharing something so personal with us here.
Fingers crossed for a manageable asthma or something else that's easy to work with!
I F-ING love this so much. Phew re diagnosis. Sorry about your Grandma & other things you shared. The toons are exceptional. Collate into comic book? Medha Murtagh | Medical Miracle has a nice ring to it. Daredevil as a woman from Downunder who’s a Spiritual Badass? Kick on 👏👏👏😄
Well, I may or may not have recently purchased a couple of courses on writing graphic novels.... (ok, ok, I DID buy the courses). I'm keeping all rather playful and non-pressurey though, so we shall see what transpires. Thanks for the encouragement though! x
A divine post - wow. Except that reading it has made my face as damp as that melted Medha-puddle on that beautifully-rendered Chair of Relief in your doctor's office, and I need to go and find a fresh hankie to deal with it. Sending love and thanks for difficult but delicious words. ♥️
Aaahhhhhh... you have me grinning. Having my work move people emotionally is not my AIM exactly. My aim is to share from my soul. But people being moved as the result? That makes my heart oh-so-happy! Thanks for your support. It means so much.
"If I had to fill out a form declaring the status of my relationship with Death right now, I’d have to go with ‘it’s complicated’."
OMG I nearly spat out my kombucha...... so happy you got such good news and happy you enjoyed a cocktail by the pool. Wishing I could be there with you to celebrate!
AAAAAAHHHHH!! So so so many things to love about this blog, wow. The softness in the way you are moving through your life's process and the beautiful and funny way you share it with us. Your cartoons!! LOVE the certificate, LOVE you dancing with death (dude, he's so SERIOUS!), LOVE LOVE LOVE you as a puddle, LOVE the note you served Matt, LOVE the yin & yang with more shadow beneath you... really, I'm in love with them all, as well as your honest and transparent thought process, as it is so relatable. You are adorbs. And so is (was) your grandma! Sorry for your loss. Love that you shared a photo of her. And love your mudslide, pedicure & thumb ring. MWAH!
I love the honesty of falling back into reality after the scare was lifted. Admiration to all and then it was ok for triggers and less admiration to be. I often think, especially as I get older, if my spouse passed would I have regrets? And I get more yeses as the years go. Regrets of not being able to see the awesome and focus on the shit, regrets of just not being able to open fully and completely like a scare provides, and holding more rejection energy. It shouldn’t and doesn’t take a scare to be able to be this...just interesting how humans are programmed I guess, or not so conscious, of this pattern. Not so easily “programmed” to always see and be the awesome and take it all in!
Keep the posts coming! I LOVE everything about what you are creating here. ❤️
I think it's because our brains are problem solving machines. Not to detract from conditioning etc, ut I think brains naturally like to solve problems, which means they are on the look out for problems to solve.
I soothed this for myself a while ago by playing logic games on my phone. A bit counterintuitive that playing on my phone would slow my mind down, and calm it. But it did.
I then promptly forgot how helpful it was and stopped. Until this conversation just reminded me!
While it plays into the hands of 'the illusion of control', I believe the increasing pace of breakthroughs with CRISPR technology brings humankind to the edge of creation. I think, how we come to terms with this will be a challenge for all of us. All of the insights falling into the realm of science starting at evolution >> genetics >> DNA >> CRISPR are driving a revolution of sorts. We cannot deliver ourselves from having a healthy relationship with death but the pace of emergence of novel solutions I believe will change human outlook on debilitating conditions. I posted a while ago about novel treatments for diseases that scare us a lot including ALS, dementia, and the like. Mine is perhaps too optimistic in outlook but I believe with faith and oversight in the process, many of what we consider death sentences will be commuted in the next ten years. This is my first post read end-to-end. It is a nice place to be. I am a lurker for now but that will not preclude comments as this attests.
Your presence with or without comments is most welcome here.
I love the idea of having less limiting conditions to deal with. And I do hope that medicine and novel treatments can help us will all that. Although I simultaneously also hope that we as humans still get more interested in living integrated lives that don't fear or resist death quite so intensely.
I have never heard of CRISPR technology until reading your comment!
If you send me an email, I can share some posts I've done about it. It is fascinating AND hopeful. In fact my next post is going to do a small update about it as it affects our response to a couple of amazing things in our world, one that is beautiful and missing and the other which has been debilitating for many. In both cases, CRISPR might address such problems THIS YEAR. That will be next Monday though. My email is MRKJMSDLN@GMAIL.COM -- put CRISPR in the SUBJECT line and my SPAM filtering will let it through.
Also, I'm really glad to hear you don't have what the doctor thought you might have. And cheers to using your imagination to allow yourself to express long-term vitality.
First, I'm still giggling. Just love your sense of humor. Next, thanks for the reminder to shift ourselves into a positive, appreciative perspective even on mundane days. This post makes me think of a flashlight shining on dark (aka "bad") objects. With the right perspective, you can see the good in everything.
Right before I read this post I wrote a poem about free will and accepting death. Funny how synchronicity works. Here BTW I know that you have an undiagnosed medical condition but I would be interested to learn more about the symptoms, as you know everyone's brain chemistry is different, and they can't yet determine many illnesses so treatments really rely on symptoms.
And I wanna go with peacefulness in my eyes - which is extra fascinating, coz in another synchronicity, you asked about my sympstoms, and a lot of them are related to my eyes!!
Is there anything specific you wanna know? I'm happy to share.
Just curious, I hope your recovery continues to progress. I have rewritten my new poem as I realized it may sound too morbid. I;ll share a happy poem for you to share with your SO.
Oh how wonderful! I hope yours was prompted something more pleasant than mine! I'll ask and you can decide if you want to answer. Have you managed to make yours a less situatuon dependent, and more lasting experience?
(loved all the drawings, especially the melting in a puddle one! x
p.s. My condolences about your nan. I don't believe in death, i believe she's just transitioned into the next stage of life and her energy will always be felt in you in some way.
Hi Medha
My partner and I went through something similar (though different) to you this week. Our experienced was more protracted, but still one that has brought about change and even more grace into our lives. He had become increasingly out of breath with the simplest of exercise and a cough had developed over time. Some tests were done, none of which seemed to provide any reasonable answers. Over a week ago now, his doctor suspected emphysema which is terminal within a few years (he has never smoked, though was a passionate cyclist, exposed to carbon monoxide over many years of road cycling). The doctor also suggested it could possibly be something more "sinister". A chest xray was booked.
The time between getting a referral, getting the test done and awaiting the results were torture, to say the least. During this time, I often thought of you because you had taken your readers on a journey that led in the same direction as my partner was experiencing. Sadness stalked my sleep and I tip toed throughout the days, trying to stay positive for my partner, whilst feeling gutted about the possibility of losing him. Yesterday we waited all day for a phone call from his doctor, who rang late in the afternoon. My stomach was in knots when the doctor started exchanging pleasantries. I was thinking the worst. Then he said: " the chest xray is completely normal. We can probably start to look at late onset asthma or perhaps a food allergy". The feeling of euphoria was instant. We have made decisions about our life that we probably would have dragged out. I am always grateful to our amazing universe for giving us the nudge to move along and do the things that we should be doing for a fun and beautiful life. I was elated that you received the all-clear, too. I loved the synchronicity of it all. But I'm used to synchronicities in my life and continue to be grateful for the lessons and messages that I am blessed to receive from our universe.
Blessings. Michele xx
Something 'more sinister' than a thing that is terminal in a few years?! Bloody hell. That IS scary.
And wow: "We have made decisions about our life that we probably would have dragged out" - that's a magical outcome from a shitty experience. Hi-fives to the both of you too! And thanks for sharing something so personal with us here.
Fingers crossed for a manageable asthma or something else that's easy to work with!
I F-ING love this so much. Phew re diagnosis. Sorry about your Grandma & other things you shared. The toons are exceptional. Collate into comic book? Medha Murtagh | Medical Miracle has a nice ring to it. Daredevil as a woman from Downunder who’s a Spiritual Badass? Kick on 👏👏👏😄
Well, I may or may not have recently purchased a couple of courses on writing graphic novels.... (ok, ok, I DID buy the courses). I'm keeping all rather playful and non-pressurey though, so we shall see what transpires. Thanks for the encouragement though! x
A divine post - wow. Except that reading it has made my face as damp as that melted Medha-puddle on that beautifully-rendered Chair of Relief in your doctor's office, and I need to go and find a fresh hankie to deal with it. Sending love and thanks for difficult but delicious words. ♥️
Aaahhhhhh... you have me grinning. Having my work move people emotionally is not my AIM exactly. My aim is to share from my soul. But people being moved as the result? That makes my heart oh-so-happy! Thanks for your support. It means so much.
"If I had to fill out a form declaring the status of my relationship with Death right now, I’d have to go with ‘it’s complicated’."
OMG I nearly spat out my kombucha...... so happy you got such good news and happy you enjoyed a cocktail by the pool. Wishing I could be there with you to celebrate!
Only nearly? I'll have to try harder next time 😂
And thank you! And great idea! Come over! Australia is lovely and I have a spare bed 🛏️ 😂
AAAAAAHHHHH!! So so so many things to love about this blog, wow. The softness in the way you are moving through your life's process and the beautiful and funny way you share it with us. Your cartoons!! LOVE the certificate, LOVE you dancing with death (dude, he's so SERIOUS!), LOVE LOVE LOVE you as a puddle, LOVE the note you served Matt, LOVE the yin & yang with more shadow beneath you... really, I'm in love with them all, as well as your honest and transparent thought process, as it is so relatable. You are adorbs. And so is (was) your grandma! Sorry for your loss. Love that you shared a photo of her. And love your mudslide, pedicure & thumb ring. MWAH!
Oh I love that description>> "The softness in the way you are moving through your life's process and the beautiful and funny way you share it with us"
You basically just listed my intentions and then told me I was kicking goals!
Yay for me and the goals and yay for you being so open and supportive and kind and generous and gorgeous and all the things 🥰
I love the honesty of falling back into reality after the scare was lifted. Admiration to all and then it was ok for triggers and less admiration to be. I often think, especially as I get older, if my spouse passed would I have regrets? And I get more yeses as the years go. Regrets of not being able to see the awesome and focus on the shit, regrets of just not being able to open fully and completely like a scare provides, and holding more rejection energy. It shouldn’t and doesn’t take a scare to be able to be this...just interesting how humans are programmed I guess, or not so conscious, of this pattern. Not so easily “programmed” to always see and be the awesome and take it all in!
Keep the posts coming! I LOVE everything about what you are creating here. ❤️
I think it's because our brains are problem solving machines. Not to detract from conditioning etc, ut I think brains naturally like to solve problems, which means they are on the look out for problems to solve.
I soothed this for myself a while ago by playing logic games on my phone. A bit counterintuitive that playing on my phone would slow my mind down, and calm it. But it did.
I then promptly forgot how helpful it was and stopped. Until this conversation just reminded me!
So lovely and complicated.
Like Karen, I was struck by the juxtaposition of those words. Thank you.
Lovely and complicated. Love those words together 🥰
While it plays into the hands of 'the illusion of control', I believe the increasing pace of breakthroughs with CRISPR technology brings humankind to the edge of creation. I think, how we come to terms with this will be a challenge for all of us. All of the insights falling into the realm of science starting at evolution >> genetics >> DNA >> CRISPR are driving a revolution of sorts. We cannot deliver ourselves from having a healthy relationship with death but the pace of emergence of novel solutions I believe will change human outlook on debilitating conditions. I posted a while ago about novel treatments for diseases that scare us a lot including ALS, dementia, and the like. Mine is perhaps too optimistic in outlook but I believe with faith and oversight in the process, many of what we consider death sentences will be commuted in the next ten years. This is my first post read end-to-end. It is a nice place to be. I am a lurker for now but that will not preclude comments as this attests.
Your presence with or without comments is most welcome here.
I love the idea of having less limiting conditions to deal with. And I do hope that medicine and novel treatments can help us will all that. Although I simultaneously also hope that we as humans still get more interested in living integrated lives that don't fear or resist death quite so intensely.
I have never heard of CRISPR technology until reading your comment!
If you send me an email, I can share some posts I've done about it. It is fascinating AND hopeful. In fact my next post is going to do a small update about it as it affects our response to a couple of amazing things in our world, one that is beautiful and missing and the other which has been debilitating for many. In both cases, CRISPR might address such problems THIS YEAR. That will be next Monday though. My email is MRKJMSDLN@GMAIL.COM -- put CRISPR in the SUBJECT line and my SPAM filtering will let it through.
So happy to read this. And yay to muscle testing being quicker than the specialist. 🤣
Haha. Agreed! And oops! I forgot to message you! Will do it now x
Also, I'm really glad to hear you don't have what the doctor thought you might have. And cheers to using your imagination to allow yourself to express long-term vitality.
Omg - me too. And thank you! I like your poetic description.
First, I'm still giggling. Just love your sense of humor. Next, thanks for the reminder to shift ourselves into a positive, appreciative perspective even on mundane days. This post makes me think of a flashlight shining on dark (aka "bad") objects. With the right perspective, you can see the good in everything.
Oh I love that! It's like a twist on the yin/yang drawing. I couldn't agree more.
Right before I read this post I wrote a poem about free will and accepting death. Funny how synchronicity works. Here BTW I know that you have an undiagnosed medical condition but I would be interested to learn more about the symptoms, as you know everyone's brain chemistry is different, and they can't yet determine many illnesses so treatments really rely on symptoms.
Ha. I love happy synchronicities!
And I wanna go with peacefulness in my eyes - which is extra fascinating, coz in another synchronicity, you asked about my sympstoms, and a lot of them are related to my eyes!!
Is there anything specific you wanna know? I'm happy to share.
Just curious, I hope your recovery continues to progress. I have rewritten my new poem as I realized it may sound too morbid. I;ll share a happy poem for you to share with your SO.
To my eyes,
Your laughter is in sight,
to my ears,
Your words I long to hear,
To my heart,
We will never part.
YAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!
Yaaaayyyyyy indeed!
“Thanks to The Scare, I’ve now lived 9 consecutive days as an adult who sees life and the world as miraculous, incredible, magical and sacred.”
I know this feeling. ❤️❤️❤️
Oh how wonderful! I hope yours was prompted something more pleasant than mine! I'll ask and you can decide if you want to answer. Have you managed to make yours a less situatuon dependent, and more lasting experience?
Well it got me sober 12.5 years ago!
Well that's spectacular!
Yay!! Virtual hug!!! 😃 🤗
(loved all the drawings, especially the melting in a puddle one! x
p.s. My condolences about your nan. I don't believe in death, i believe she's just transitioned into the next stage of life and her energy will always be felt in you in some way.
Don't get you either.
Hey Windy. Welcome. I'm not quite sure what you mean?